Eileen Lichtenstein went from owning a dance studio to becoming an educator and then evolved it into a speaking business. She saw how important her work was in educating students and working with clients. This especially became evident right after 9-11.
As an educator, Eileen Lichtenstein knew the importance of knowing her material. Knowing more than she needed to know to be able to present the information with confidence. As she began speaking, she realized that it just wasn’t the material you knew but also that putting yourself in the right frame of mind and body could be really helpful as well. She began practicing breathing and relaxation before getting in front of a group of people. This allowed her to make an impact and do the important work with her speaking business.
What other lessons did Eileen Lichtenstein share?
- Resilience it about being flexible
- Humor is very important when delivering valuable information
- You make a difference one person at a time
- Never underestimate the value of a business coach, and a decent webmaster, you can trust
- Listen to your intuition – it’s usually correct
Who is Eileen Lichtenstein?
Eileen Lichtenstein, MS. Ed. CEO, Balance & Power, Inc., is a Peak Performance Success Coach for Your Life and Career!
Helping you and your organizations be Positive, Productive and Powerful with effective DeStress, Anger Management and Communication tools.
She is a Certified Anger Management Specialist (CAMS), EFT (Emotional FreedomTechniques) , Life-Career Coach and Author SOAR! withResilience® eBooks/Products, working with individuals, couples and groups. She facilitates interactive trainings for anger control/ stress management and to boost confidence, productivity, focus, critical thinking, creativity and well being. Eileen integrates EFT and Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction into her sessions and trainings for optimal productivity and well being.
Want to receive exclusive content not available on The Business of Speaking Show or blog? Subscribe to our weekly newsletter.
Below is the full transcript from the show with Eileen Lichtenstein. Please note that there may be some errors as it was auto transcribed using Otter.ai. (referral link that provides us with a 1-month Premium Pass
Tim McDonald 0:01
All right. Well welcome everybody to the business of speaking show. I am your host, Tim McDonald. And today I am joined by somebody I just recently met through a networking group that obviously we’re doing in 2020: virtually. Eileen, how are you doing?
Eileen Lichtenstein 0:18
Great. Thanks so much, Tim, for having me on your show.
Tim McDonald 0:22
No, it’s wonderful to have you and I can’t wait to dive into more your story. And to let everybody know who’s watching. This is really a show for people that are interested in getting involved in speaking, or in the very early stages of their speaking career. Although as 2020 and COVID has taught us, no matter what we thought we had planned out and knew the world can always throw us a curveball. So regardless of where you are on the journey, I would not say don’t listen. But it’s really geared towards those who are just starting. And I’m thinking about getting started in speaking. So with that being said, I would love to jump in. Because we don’t really focused on the story of what you talk about onstage, we talk about the the journey to the stage and how you kind of evolve from there. But I mean, what I’d really like to start with before we kind of dive into that is tell us a little bit about what you do now what what you know, what your accomplishments have been, um, so that then we can go back to where the early days of where you started.
Eileen Lichtenstein 1:26
I’ll be happy to Tim. So let me hold up my workbooks slash success stories and strategies. And these words are so key words now with the pandemic and everything. And I wrote this about 10 years ago. And it’s still an again, more relevant than ever. So resilience is more than bouncing back. It’s about being flexible in spirit, and emotionally flexible in your prioritizing whatever you make, we may do. It’s about being flexible. So succeed, overcome obstacles, achieve your goals and reduce stress and anger. I am a certified anger management specialist now. And that is a benefit that has been a journey to become that and I’m also an EFT, tapping Emotional Freedom Technique tapping practitioner, and I teach that as well with clients.
Tim McDonald 2:40
Wow, I haven’t even heard of that before. Now I explained it. I don’t know exactly. But you kind of gave me the hint that it’s like
Eileen Lichtenstein 2:51
what it does, if I made is, I hear the client’s story as a coach with active listening. And then I kind of plug it in to talking about their their story while we tap on certain acupuncture points. That releases lets go of cortisol in a very negative hormone. I’m bringing to positive hormone up to the section of the brain that deals with feelings. I’ve had miraculous successes with clients and for myself as well.
Tim McDonald 3:33
Well, I think you and I might have a whole new conversation to talk about, but let’s not focus on that today. But I love I love that and it sounds so fascinating to me, and I’m curious to learn more about it. But um, you know, so, you know, having the book, you know, becoming the, you know, certified in, you know, anger management therapy. I’m getting a chance to speak with people to, you know, get out in front of people. How did you start in all this?
Eileen Lichtenstein 4:02
Well, I was, um, I have always been an educator and my adult education and educating experience was with adult students at Hofstra University in Long Island and also Medgar Evers college, part of the CUNY system. And for mega Labradors, I was in the business department teaching soft skills, and they would send me out to teach it to employees of city agencies. And when you’re speaking to a roomful of adults to work for a city agency that is a really good base to start a speaking career from
Tim McDonald 4:57
what you bring up something pretty Interesting, which is getting up in front of a room of adult students. Right? And I know most people don’t think of that as speaking. But do you remember the first day you were in class?
Eileen Lichtenstein 5:13
What do you mean, as a student?
Tim McDonald 5:15
No, like, as a teacher of these,
Eileen Lichtenstein 5:18
I was so nervous, always the first day of class, because I remember actually, when I was in college, a long time ago, and master’s degree, and it was always and we were all the students for always judging the professor, the new teacher, I had to make the grade kind of thing. So anything that that anyone is a bit fearful about, let me just interject here that tapping can get rid of.
Tim McDonald 6:03
I’ve done a lot of research and talk about fear. So I’m fully aware that so how did you you know, but back then you probably weren’t doing that. Right. So how did you? How did you deal with that? And how did you kind of, you know, what did? What were the feelings that you were going through? And how did you process that? To gain your confidence while you were in that situation?
Eileen Lichtenstein 6:23
Yes, um, I had to be so fully prepared, overly prepared with the material, that no matter what question would come up, or if I had the wrong overhead, in my hand for what I was saying, or whatever could possibly happen. I would be okay with it. Because I knew my material inside and out. That was the main thing for me.
Tim McDonald 6:53
Well, that I think that’s very helpful. And, and I think that, you know, one thing that I, you know, I’ve found is the same thing, it’s like, when you’re talking about something that, you know, it’s a lot easier than getting up and talking about something you know, nothing about?
Eileen Lichtenstein 7:10
Oh, yes. And also, I have learned early on that relaxation, breathing before, going in front of the group, just putting yourself in the right frame of mind and body could be really helpful as well. So I was always doing that before.
Tim McDonald 7:29
Well, that’s great. And, you know, so you mentioned that being in front of these students that the college would actually send you out in front of some of the city agencies and work with their people. Um, was it a different feeling for you? When you took yourself out of the classroom, even though you were nervous when you first started a new class? Because this is like every agency that you got in front of was a new group, right? And so yes, how did you deal with that?
Eileen Lichtenstein 7:56
Well, as I just said, just being totally prepared and and being sure that I did some relaxation for myself before I was in front of the group kind of backstage so to speak, you know, behind the scenes, I knew that that would help me no matter what I I messed up with possibly.
Tim McDonald 8:21
Um, so you know, you working for the college, you’re getting an opportunity to not only be in the classroom, but also in front of these city agencies. Tell us about like how your path kind of evolved from there to you know, and I’d love to just sit and listen.
Eileen Lichtenstein 8:40
Okay, so I was at Hofstra also teaching. I was in the health and phys ed department there. And I was teaching stress management from that department, not the not the School of Psychology class but from the health and phys ed class. And the students were so dressed all the time. That almost whatever I said they were all ears show they love the subject. Also I taught yoga there and I was kind of on the floor in the in the gym. I at the time, I had a certification and fitness, and very way back, I owned a dance and exercise studio.
Tim McDonald 9:33
Eileen Lichtenstein 9:36
All all of this kind of came together at Hofstra in the health and phys ed department. So I was with students during it teaching yoga. Yeah, I was at Hofstra. My last semester, there was the semester that 911 occurred. And I saw miracles on the mat. in teaching yoga. This the students who attended as, as you may imagine, were so stressed out, and some of them actually had, you know, people in their family and friends that were very affected, that were personally affected. So I was really providing a service that they needed. Even though I wasn’t speaking that much, I was giving guided meditations and, and teaching yoga poses in a yoga class. But oh, my goodness, it was I felt so important. I was doing such important work for the students. And that helped to build my confidence in the field.
Tim McDonald 11:16
Was it the impact that you saw you had on the students that gave you that confidence?
Eileen Lichtenstein 11:22
Tim McDonald 11:25
And and how did that make you feel? I mean, how I mean, because I can only imagine I didn’t live in New York at the time. But having lived there and talking with people that I was friends with, I know, you know, no matter where we are in the US, I think it affected us all, but living in the New York City area, it was unlike anything that you can imagine.
Eileen Lichtenstein 11:45
Yes, it was, and anyone who attended the school who actually got their bodies there who had been affected. It was amazing to me that they were even in class, but somehow they got there. So I made it worth their while. And I felt very, um, like I said, contributor to their well being.
Tim McDonald 12:12
And so, yeah, I’m guessing that, you know, it’s, it sounds like, it wasn’t something that you consciously planned out to do. It was just something that you reacted to knowing that it was kind of the right thing. Yes, exactly. And how did that? How did that kind of move you to, you know, getting out on your own and not working for the university?
Eileen Lichtenstein 12:37
Well, that kind of evolved, because, um, to do internal changes in the university, I was down to teaching one course, and I decided I wasn’t going to take my time of the week to do that. So I’ve got a different kind of position at that time.
Tim McDonald 13:00
And so how did that kind of mean, so it was a, it was kind of a choice of yours, but it wasn’t fully what you necessarily would have chosen If it was up to you.
Eileen Lichtenstein 13:09
That’s right. That’s right. And while I was still there, I created a graduate course in that department, I, all my students were either in that course where phys ed majors, or they were going for physical therapy.
Tim McDonald 13:27
So it’s something that you are passionate about that you were you were able to help them and get them out in the world doing what you love doing.
Eileen Lichtenstein 13:34
I felt I was doing very important work that they were, they knew it was a required course for these majors. And, and we were really working together to to give them a good experience, myself and the students when I when I’m saying we
Tim McDonald 13:56
now when you still talk with people, and you, you know, you’re getting in front of people, do you still have that presence of we? Or do you ever feel like it’s you talking to several or many, you know,
Eileen Lichtenstein 14:09
it just depends, okay, it depends on the group. It depends on the venue these days, it’s all online with the pandemic. So that’s very different from me, a different kind of feeling than talking to a group where I can feel the energy in the room and see their expressions and so on. And way, way back, when I started with the speaking, I gave some trainings at the for the New York Times, in an open, like open a group for employees in the auditorium. I’m just thinking back I haven’t thought about that in a long time. That was really amazing. Amazing, just being there with all these employees of the New York Times, and then following that, because it went so well, I was hired by their sales department to give a training. And it was all about it was it was almost the same thing I’m doing now is like less stress for greater productivity and focus.
Tim McDonald 15:28
So is that one of your first major, you know, speaking things? Was it then your times? Yeah. And how did that come about? For you?
Eileen Lichtenstein 15:35
How did that happen? I’m, I’m not sure. I think I sent out a lot of cover letters, talking about my college experiences, kind of a resume, you know, but in in paragraphs that a list and they picked it up the I sent back to human resources to EAP, which is employees assistant programs, I sent to quite a few big businesses in the metro New York metropolitan area.
Tim McDonald 16:15
And so how many do you think you sent it to before you had the New York Times? Say, we want you Eileen?
Unknown Speaker 16:21
I really don’t know. But it seemed like I was always working at it.
Tim McDonald 16:27
So it wasn’t the first one you said?
Eileen Lichtenstein 16:33
Wait, let me just say, there are two key words here. persistence and perseverance for anyone who’s starting on a new endeavor, whether it be speaking or or starting a new business, or being a new employee and another business, whatever it is, it often takes incredible persistence and perseverance to get through those beginning times.
Tim McDonald 17:06
I think that’s so wise for and I love that you phrased it for anybody, not just people looking to get into speaking. But so after you got that one, and you said you got other ones from other people, or even within the same company? How did that kind of grow? And how did you? Did you continue having to send those out? Was it all referral? What did you Was there anything that you were doing or finding that work for you, that really helped you continue to get more of these bookings, to get you know, in front of people and get paid to speak
Eileen Lichtenstein 17:44
early on, I had a business coach. And she and I became good professional, colleagues, friends. And we, she and I had an online business at the beginning of online businesses that no longer exist, and none of them want to sit in the middle of it. And she and I created an amazingly fantastic radio shop, on blog talk radio, which was extremely popular them. And she had a fantastic webmaster at the beginning of all that. And I hired him. He’s still my webmaster Now, over 10 years.
Tim McDonald 18:35
And so that relationship and that experience, what did that kind of teach you? And how did you see it help your business?
Eileen Lichtenstein 18:45
Well, I, it helped me to understand that anyone listening, who was really listening, whether it be the students, or the New York Times, participants, are the people listening to our radio show, if they were truly listening, then it was important for me and whomever I was doing it with, to give really important well thought out information and, and have a great sense of humor. Very, very important.
Tim McDonald 19:21
Well, I remember talking to somebody and you’re, you’re reminding me of this, it’s he said, he was a little hesitant about posting even just on LinkedIn, that’s the only social network he was on. And he goes, Well, what if nobody reads it? And I said, Do you know that there’s 1% of the people that truly helped contribute to what you put out there? There’s 9% that might engage with you like like it, you know, give you a comment. And then there’s 90% that will just see it, and never even tell you. And imagine if you made a difference in one person’s life with what you shared.
Eileen Lichtenstein 19:54
That’s how I’ve always felt one person at a time making a difference. I felt that As a college professor, and when I was began the speaking engagements and on the radio show, which was all part of that time.
Tim McDonald 20:11
Wow. And so, as the internet evolved, and as you know, social media evolved, you know, I’m sure you weren’t having to actually send or, you know, I’m not sure how you were sending them, we didn’t even talk about that, whether it was, you know, running them over or faxing them over, because that was one of my first jobs selling fax machines, when nobody wanted them, because they couldn’t afford them or didn’t think they were worth anything. And now, you know, it would be the same challenge today trying to sell. But you know, how is how is that kind of all evolved from you, you know, for you? And how is how have you seen it kind of help your business? Or has it been in that way?
Eileen Lichtenstein 20:51
Yes, thank you, it’s been extremely helpful to my business, for Google to have me on their first page on several topics. And sometimes now, people simply look up, um, for instance, anger management specialist, Nassau County, and there I am. And my website has been upgraded as needed. Same with webmasters I mentioned, and he does a fantastic job with the search engine optimization. And yes, I’m on some social media, not everything. And I like it. I like what the social media that a month.
Tim McDonald 21:41
And I’m guessing that you, the minute you put up your website, you probably weren’t on page one of Google for all these things. Which brings us back to those two keys. Right.
Eileen Lichtenstein 21:52
Exactly. Exactly. And also facing my webmaster making the right choices.
Tim McDonald 22:02
Well, you bring up something interesting, you know, which is another thing that I think, you know, a lot of people getting started is they see successful people that are, you know, doing speaking as part of their business. And, you know, you bring up that you have somebody on your team, that’s a webmaster right. And other people might have PR, you know, or VA as virtual assistants. You know, so, you know, when did you know and realize that you needed to hire somebody else? And how comfortable do you feel when you bring somebody in and release a little bit of control to them?
Eileen Lichtenstein 22:37
Well, um, as I think I mentioned, I, I had a really good recommendation for this person, because I was in venues with this other woman that he was a webmaster for. So I had kind of a preview, so to speak, of his of his work and her recommendations. So that was a good start for me,
Tim McDonald 23:05
and how did you know that it was time for you to make that hire?
Eileen Lichtenstein 23:10
Because she was also my business coach. And I I agree that it couldn’t be the time and if it wasn’t, then, you know, I could stop doing some things.
Tim McDonald 23:25
I, you know, it’s it’s one of my more recent guest, you know, Dr. G, Dr. G. She brought up that she went to art school for theater, and inner undergrad, and then worked in that field for six years, and then became went to medical school and became a doctor. And she told me something pretty interesting that when you’re in art school, they always tell you, it’s about the art, never about business. And when you’re in medical school, they tell you, it’s always about the science and never about the business. It sounds like you made the decision to get hooked up with a business coach, early on when you started.
Eileen Lichtenstein 24:04
Yes. And when I went through my coaching life, life and career coaching training, it was always recommended to do that. So it wasn’t simply an original idea to do that. You know, part of my coursework said it’s really good to have a business coach.
Tim McDonald 24:32
Well, I think that’s so important because, you know, people see speakers and they don’t realize that there’s these other people that are either be working behind the scenes for those speakers, or have been with them for some part of their journey to the stage.
Eileen Lichtenstein 24:47
And then later in my career, I coach clients to do public speaking. It was it wasn’t like officially what I did, but they were friends. Since a life coaching client and or a career coaching client, and would say, Oh my goodness, I’m, I have to give this presentation in a week and I’m so nervous and I don’t know what to do. And I would help them to do it not by being there physically. But with that I had just learned about that tapping, and it totally helps overcome fear of public speaking.
Tim McDonald 25:31
Oh, that’s great. And so, as we kind of wrap up, um, if you were to go back not to when you were in the, you know, teaching in the schools, but once you started your own business, knowing what you know, now, what is the one piece of advice that you would give yourself that you know, now that you didn’t know that?
Eileen Lichtenstein 25:53
Well, I think I know it because that maybe because I’m older and wiser is listen to your intuition, because it’s usually correct.
Tim McDonald 26:08
I love it. Well, thank you so much. I lean in and tell people how they can get in touch with you and find more about you.
Eileen Lichtenstein 26:18
Yes, my website is balanced VA Li n C, E, and n d power, pow er.com. And my phone number 516-623-4353. That is a landline. So please don’t be shy and leave me a message. And of course, you could go you could fill out a contact form on my website that way. And I hope to be Tuesday soon. Anyway,hey listeners I’m talking to now.
Tim McDonald 26:55
Well, thank you so much, Eileen. And thank everybody for joining us. And I forgot to tell Eileen this before we went on air. But one thing that I love doing is ending the YouTube broadcast. But keeping Eileen on for a few more minutes. And I’m going to ask her one additional question. And that content will only be available to our email subscribers. So if you head over to speaking dot business, and just sign up for our free weekly email newsletter, you will get on the exclusive content that we record after we stopped the YouTube broadcast. So thank you.